There's a little bit of everything on the internet these days. There are probably forums where people discuss their collection of silly straws, and youtube videos featuring stop-action animation of little stick figures someone has made from their fingernail clippings. There are probably sites dedicated exclusively to photos of pregnant Siamese twins soaking their feet in yogurt, if you're in to that sort of thing. Heck, you can probably find a separate site if you insist on the yogurt being non-fat. It's a real human carnival. So, it's probably inevitable that sooner or later a time traveler was going to stop by for a visit.
His name is John Titor, and in January 2001 he claimed to be from the year 2036. He claimed that a third world war will break out in 2015, killing billions of people. He claimed that he traveled back to 1975 to find an IBM 5100 computer, which they apparently will need in the future to fix some sort of computer problem that's due to crop up in 2038 that's similar to the Y2K problem. I guess his time flight had a layover in the early 2000's, so he made a pit stop here and shared his story with the world via the internet and the Art Bell radio program. He even saw no danger in sharing the colonel's secret recipe for time travel. (You'll be happy to know, Doug, he claimed that the multiverse theory is correct. So, you have at least one possible authority in your corner.)
Do I believe any of this? Is this the silver jumpsuit guy? Well, while it would be a tragedy to be dismissive of anyone claiming to be a time traveler, and thereby missing the opportunity to appreciate having one right in front of us, I'm definitely a little skeptical...to say the least. The story is a little Terminatoresque, don't you think? Plus, 2036 seems like a fairly ambitious deadline for cracking the secret of time travel, even without a third world war and the death of billions providing a bit of a distraction. With the struggle to survive and the effort to dig the bodies of loved ones out of rubble, you wouldn't think there would be a lot of time on their hands to figure out how to manipulate the space-time continuum. After all, there's a reason they weren't splitting the atom back in the dark ages. Also, since he ascribed to the "multiverse" theory, you'd think he'd be trying to stop this coming world war, instead of mooing about mad cow disease. At the very least, he could have warned us about 9/11. I'm just scratching the surface. These are just a few problems I see at a glance.
There are plenty of people who do believe him, though. Of course, there are always people out there that will believe in anything, no matter how crazy it is. I'm sure there are people that would believe it if someone told them that shoving pyramid shaped sugar cubes into their rectum was the secret to immortality. You'd think that the fact that the things he's predicted up to this point haven't happened would lay the whole thing to rest, but we live in a society where people are led to believe that it's a virtue to hold fast to your stupidity...errr, I mean faith in the face of reason. So, really, is it any wonder that some refuse to let it go?
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| The Titor Time Line |
He predicted that the 2004 election would lead to "civil unrest" that would erupt in 2008. I suppose that all depends on what you call, "civil unrest". Are people pissed off? Sure. Is there war in the streets? Ehhh. He claims that he was a soldier in the "Fighting Diamondbacks" when he was 13 in 2011. Well, the year is still young, but most of the 13 year-old boys I see are still playing their Xbox. Maybe he was referring to a new Halo game. He predicted that mad cow would be a "pandemic." I just ate a hamburger this morning, and I'm not too worried. He predicted that the U.S. would split into five different territories, but I'm not sure when this is suppose to happen. Apparently some time before 2015.
At any rate, if it's a hoax, it's a pretty good one. As a part time fiction writer, I can always appreciate the imagination that goes into a good lie. I just wish I would have thought of it first.
(This Post is also available in extra cheesy version.)
(This Post is also available in extra cheesy version.)
It sounds like he should have been just a skosh
ReplyDeletemore vague. If you make broad generalities and make them sound mysterious enough, people will swallow it without even feeling the hook.
Yeah, whatever happened to that John Edward guy, anyway? I'm sensing there was...money involved. I'm getting a name. It starts with a "B"; maybe Bob or Bill or...Ben! That's it. Yes, "Ben Franklin". I'm seeing more than one, though. I'm seeing a bunch of Ben Franklins, and...this is strange. They're all in a suitcase, and someone is skipping town with it. Does that mean anything to you?
ReplyDeleteThese guys who claim to time travelers are very funny sometimes. One claimed that in the future it was revealed that Marilyn Monroe was a trained assassin and she actually took out Kennedy.
ReplyDeleteThen there was that one jackass who claimed to have gone the future and read an article by you that you haven't written yet.
Some people.
Why do I picture Marilyn Monroe in the book depository wearing skin tight black leather as she looks down the scope of her sniper rifle?
ReplyDeleteI have a secret to admit: I am John Titor. Whew, glad that is off my chest. OK, carry on.
ReplyDeleteDid somebody just call me a jackass? I was just trying to get clarity on one reference... no need to get nasty now. (grin) I can't help it if I read too fast!
ReplyDeleteWas it you darev? I thought I was the Jackass of mention. If there are time travelers among us, it would suggest then time cannot be altered, only influenced in such a manner that maybe the world can change as long as people are willing to take that initial step. The problem is that time travelers can only influence, given the laws of the space time continuum, and the last time someone inspired changed he was labeled soon after as being the worse president in our history for his trouble. Not even time can stop the progress of ignorance. One can hope though. Stop being a Jackass darev.
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty sure Tommy was making a tongue-in-cheek reference to himself, you guys. There were a number of "jackasses" who claimed to have read the posts ahead of time, but of course, this was at the instigation of the king jackass himself who wrote the post in the first place (that would be me.)
ReplyDeletePics or it didn't happen!
ReplyDeleteSorry, but I HAD to say that. Where is this man's PROOF that he really existed? Did he give us a picture of himself? Surely they still have photographic technology in 2036.
At the very least he could have told us about Obama. I'm sure he'd have a lot more believers if he'd said, "Oh yeah, you're going to wind up with an African American president (who has a smokin' hot wife, BTW) that half the U.S. will think is a Muslim in hiding and/or the Anti Christ."
I'm thinking now, even if he's changed things, the way Doug suggests, there should still be a way to partially verify this by seeing if there really is a John Titor that was born in 1998 and who is turning 13 this year. If so, then we can tell the kid that he introduced himself to the internet as a time traveler 10 years ago, except he hasn't done it yet, even though he already has. Maybe if we're lucky we can get him to cry.
ReplyDeleteDid he mention anything about Nazi zombies? After you mentioned that he claimed to be 13 fighting in the "Fighting Diamondbacks", I also thought about video games. I can't believe that something so tragic will happen in the next few months that it will change all existence as we know it. It would seem to me that children (especially in America) would be a last resort to send to fight. Even if militia popped up all over the place in the backwoods, I still don't see children fighting.
ReplyDeleteAlso, maybe "mad cow" refers more to the consumption of fast food by so many resulting in "fat-assedness".
http://www.ashafullife.blogspot.com
"Mad cow" is probably a reference to the rare Salisbury cow, which is well known to be angry and aggressive.
ReplyDelete...especially when smothered with almond milk based gravy...
ReplyDeleteAmen. Even the dog knows not to eat that stuff.
ReplyDeleteYou're going to make a little kid cry? That's just evil, man.
ReplyDeleteHe's a Fighting Diamondback. He can take it.
ReplyDeleteAs soon as he turns 13 he'll be old enough to have a Facebook account, and then we'll nail him...as soon as we figure out which one is the real John Titor. ;)
ReplyDeleteAsha' comment made me think of something... maybe he's from a future video game? He was running around the virtual battlefields and somehow popped out in the past. Therefore all stories are true, he's just from a different time... :)
ReplyDelete@Mother Theresa: I did a search on Facebook, and I have made a startling discovery. One of the results had a profile picture of Barack Obama. There can only be one possibility: Obama is from the future.
ReplyDelete@Rachel: What was that movie where Jeff Daniels walked down on the movie screen? This guy SOUNDS like a video game character.
I'm waiting for Obama to remove his face to reveal his robot parts.
ReplyDeleteIt seems to me that there will always be someone to argue or counter a positive step in the continued evolution of humankind. So many people devote their entire lives to the unseen diety proclaiming it brought life to all things, yet the possibility of my travels, and those of John Titor, continue to provide fodder for people to poke and prod at as though our work were mere baterium on a petri dish.
ReplyDeleteWhat John Titor professed to those who listened was a chance to hear and perhaps aspire to in the future. People took his warnings as mental drivel, or picked apart his words in the same way my own will no doubt be skimmed over and retorted as incoherent nonsense. You want tangible means to justify the words being said to you, and for what?
What would you do with the answer your blog brings to the forefront of thought? I would be interested myself in seeing how you would handle such knowledge and I doubt as some have said they would further enjoy their time now, if they thought the future was darker than expected.
At least people like you and others I have read are taking a more serious interest in things you are just beginning to understand. CERN, as John mentioned long before its success, will take humanity to its next phase. Sadly, I am afraid, this worldline will not be as prepared for it as John had hoped.
John IV