Thursday, March 10, 2011

What Does Road Rage Have to Do with World Peace?

Recently, someone sent me an invitation to a Facebook event called "A Day of Peace." The idea was that for one day everyone who joined this event would agree not to speak ill of their fellow man, but instead try to be forgiving and understanding.  Right off the bat, I want to say that I think this is a swell idea.  I'm well aware that I spent too much time getting aggravated and griping about people around me.  I've thought many times that I need to learn to just let things go.  First of all, all this anger is counter-productive.  Griping about someone who has pissed me off has never, ever once in the history of ever, ever made me feel better about the situation.  I usually end up with my stomach in knots and just generally feeling like a huge tool.  It's definitely better for my own stress level and peace of mind when I can just shrug things off and go on, smiling.  Plus, it never solves anything.  If the moment has passed to say something or confront the person who's irritated me, then nothing is really served by bending someone else's ear over my troubles.  Second of all, anger just ends up breeding more anger.  I think that the core of the message that Jesus was trying to bring to world was that if everyone could realize that the endless cycle of anger, violence, and retribution could end with them at any time, then we could truly have Heaven on Earth.  It's just a shame that many of the people who profess to be his followers fail to grasp this concept.  But it was, and is a beautiful idea, elegant in its simplicity, extraordinarily difficult in it's execution.

So anyhow, I'm on board with the idea.  However, all that being said, my efforts to live up to the laudable goals of such a day would be greatly enhanced if we had, say...another day, which could somehow coincide with that one so that they would fall on the same date.  We could call this day, "Please, Please, for the Love of All That's Sacred and Holy, Please Try Not to Be Such a Thoughtless Idiot and Instead Try to Use Your Brain for One Day, Just One Single Solitary Day in Your Entire Pathetic Life"...um, Day.  Okay, maybe that's a little long.  Maybe it should just be called, "Don't Be an Idiot" Day.  It would be one day where everyone would just calm down, take a step back, and you know...think before they open their mouth and say or do something stupid.

You might say that people can't help being stupid.  This is true to a certain point, but genuine stupidity isn't often the problem.  I see people all the time operating below their own intelligence level.  The problem is more a mental slackness or laziness.  I'm saying, reign it it in, tighten things up, try to be more rational.  Nowadays, reason is held in low regard, considered as the recourse of the small minded.  The "enlightened" folks are above all that.  They're guided by their feelings and the elusive whispers of the "universe".  Whatever.  Then we turn on the news and wonder how some people's lives got to be such a mess.  There's no telling what the "universe" might tell someone to do.  At least reason is reliable.  But in subtle ways people are permeated by the culture on all sides with the subtle message, "Let go of your fussy old reason.  Do what feels right."  Is it any surprise that some people shoot heroine into their veins?  That first hit sure feels right at the time.

Now folks, whatever you might think of me, I'm honestly not all that smart.  It's true that I'm fascinated by all kinds of philosophical, psychological, and scientific ideas, but that's just my own personal past-time.  I spend a lot of time thinking about these things, probably too much time.  I'm curious about how things work and I like to write about the theories that I come up with.  All of this is just like a hobby, though.  My father was obsessed with sports.  He was like a walking encyclopedia of baseball.  Name a player and he could tell you their batting average for their best year.  I could never hope to equal that level of knowledge and understanding of the subject, because I don't really care about sports.  On the other hand, not everyone cares like I do about the influence of Freud's cocaine addiction on his theories or the fact that Nietzsche was hugging a horse when he had his mental break-down.  Different strokes for different folks.

My point is, that when it comes to dealing with everyday life, I have no advantages when it comes to intelligence.  If anything, I'm at a disadvantage.  I can't even fix a car beyond changing a battery or topping up the washer fluid.  But I try...I really try to be a rational person.  I try to judge situations and people fairly.  I try to look at myself honestly without  my ego getting in the way.  I try to conduct my personal affairs sensibly and responsibly.  I try to keep my mind active and alert, and look for new approaches to the inevitable problems  that arise.  In short, I try every single day to be a reasonable person.  Fellow blogger Deanne recently mentioned a great quote from Gandhi, "Be the change you want to see in the world."  This is the change I want to see in the world, and so often I don't.  All the little petty sins and grievances and irresponsibilities, most of them lead back to this one fundamental cause.  People don't use their heads.  Anger is a problem.  There's no denying that.  But from where I stand, stupidity seems to be a bigger one. 

That brings us to the road rage.  The term began its life as a yet another media buzzword, like "stay-cation"....ugggghh.  Nevertheless, it denoted a specific problem: people that drive angry.  If someone got behind a school bus and then flipped out after its fifteenth stop and then said, the hell with it, and started plowing through kids like they were orange traffic cones, that was road rage.  Nowadays, the term has expanded in popular usage to include anyone who gets mad or even slightly peeved behind the wheel.  The defining feature of road rage, the violent and reckless driving itself, the anger demonstrated in action, has become disassociated from the term.  Now, all a person needs to do is raise their voice a few decibels, and their passenger is instantly accusing them of "road rage".  In the old days, you didn't need to be a passenger to see road rage.  You could see from across the street.  Heck, you could see it from across town.  Road rage was an act, not a mood.  Sure the mood can lead to the act, and you might say its a fine line, but there was a line.

The blurring of this line had led to a shift in focus and blame.  It suggests that the problem isn't all the idiots out there on the road that don't know how to drive, that tail gate instead of maintaining the recommended distance, that take wild chances that put themselves and others at risk, that yak on their phones without paying attention to the road, and that squeal their tires when they make a turn so everyone for miles around will know how "cool" they are.  Nope, there's something wrong with you for getting annoyed by all this.  Sure, that drunk guy in the semi almost killed that family in the SUV, but you need to calm down. 

Let me tell you, I live near a fairly busy intersection.  There have been a couple of dozen accidents in the eight years I've been here.  I've had a chance to observe the details up close.  Nearly every single one was cause by blatant, avoidable stupidity, not anger.  Is it useful to get angry behind the wheel?  Does it help the problem?  No, of course not.  But I think if you extrapolate these results to the wider world, you see a trend where people are encouraged to suppress their outrage and placidly allow the stupidity of others to go on unchecked.  The anger is usually unproductive, and often the result of stupidity itself, and people certainly do need to relax, but I think its a mistake to focus on outrage of any sort as if that's the fundamental problem.  Outrage can even be a good thing on rare occasions.  Without anger some of the world's greatest injustices might have gone unaddressed.

You might say that my "Don't Be an Idiot" Day misses the point of Gandhi's "Be the change" or as Micheal Jackson put it, "I'm starting with the man in the mirror", before we realized that he was talking about years and years of plastic surgery.  Allow me to make a counter-argument.  One could also say that the "Day of Peace" also misses the point, since it implies that it's other people's short-comings and stupidity that one needs to be patient with.  Make no mistake about it; "Don't Be an Idiot" Day is for everyone.  It's for me, and for you as well.  No matter who you are, it takes a deliberate effort to not be an idiot, and we all slip up from time to time.  We need to forgive the stupidity of others, but we also need to try to stop being so stupid ourselves.  If we embrace the one, maybe we can make some headway on the other.                           

14 comments:

  1. The other day, yesterday in fact, I was driving home during rush hour, (How can you blame someone for speeding or acting like a total ass, when the time frame itself relates to breaking the speeding laws?) getting off the on-ramp, which again makes no sense to me, when this asshole is barreling up from behind me with road wearing thin. There was nowhere I could move to help him break in line, cut me off, cause me to crash into a semi or retainer wall; but, this jerk smashes the accelerator to squeeze into a tiny space ahead of me, about the length of a chopper (motorcycle not the whirlybird) which causes me to break suddenly, the cars behind me break suddenly and a barrage of color metaphors blast from the mouths of drivers like fiery medicine balls from siege catapults! All because some asshole did not want to slow down and merge with traffic, so I cannot help a bit of rage now and again. I do try not to get worked up about it as I have done similar things in the past myself, but they are justified when I do them :p

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  2. Well thanks for the mention for starters and you could have told everyone it was me who sent you the invite to which you replied on the "Peace Day" wall that is was already 9:58 in the morning and you have already broken the rules 15 times or more.

    As for anger it has many faces and forms. There is anger that has ignorance and hatred at it's core which serves no one and then their is anger that has indignation at it's core which is what makes people stand up and start making a change.

    I think your suggestion of "Don't be an idiot" day is a great idea and I think you should get on facebook and start the page ASAP! Anything that gets people to stop and actaully think and feel before they take action is a good thing.

    The point is that it takes more than just thinking it through. You have to feel your way through it as well and listen to your heart. That quiet voice you spoke of, that universal knowing doesn't come from the head it just gets processed through there. It comes from the heart. The seat of the soul and the core of who we are.

    I love your Jesus message but boy we need to work on the images you picked for this post. I was reading your understanding of Jesus' message and there is that devil looking face staring at me...lol And then as I continued to read I got a quick image of you grabbing your crotch, hitting your best high note while kicking out your leg singing "Man in the mirror" I have to say I had a good laugh at that one!

    Let me know when you start your "Don't be an idiot" campaign. I will help spread the word!

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  3. @Scott: Naturally. :)

    Many times rage and idiocy coincide. One time at night, I took a left to pull into a parking-lot. I turned and found myself face to face with another car blocking the driveway on the right side. I was freaking out. Cars were barreling down on me. I started screaming out the window that the woman in the car was on the wrong side of the driveway. Then I looked over and noticed that there was another driveway over on the other side of the sign. It seems I was trying to pull into the exit driveway. The woman was nice enough to back up and let me in before she drove off and reminded me that I was an "asshole!" as we passed. Not one of my proudest moments.

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  4. @Deanne: I think the trick to "Don't Be an Idiot" Day will be figuring out how to break it down to something bite-size. Help me think of something stupid or thoughtless that nearly everyone does that they could make an actual effort not to do for one day.

    Simply telling people "try not to be an idiot" for one day is a little too broad and general, especially considering that we sadly don't usually realize our stupidity to well after the fact.

    And yes, there's a world of difference between hatred and indignation.

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  5. Oh Lord...the list is going to be endless because we all do so many stupid things...I am sure your readers can help...sounds like another post!

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  6. I have a favorite coffee mug and it has that quote from Ghandi on it. LOL. I am in full support of "don't be an idiot" day. Heck, let's make it a month. Think of the money the world could save... :)

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  7. Ways to make "Not an Idiot Day" bite-size and manageable:

    1. Never write anything down without saying it aloud first.

    2. Never say anything aloud without writing it down first.

    By following both steps without exception you will never say or write something idiotic, guaranteed.

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  8. @Rachel: Don't Be an Idiot Month, huh? I don't think I'd last the first week. I'd suggest some kind elimination contest, but unfortunately with stupidity, those who exhibit it the most, admit it the least...and so on. Rinse and repeat.

    @Doug: Not a bad suggestion. I was thinking of something along the lines of "think before you speak", and that would be a good way of putting the idea into action. I'm not sure how practical it would be, though, especially if someone was a 911 dispatcher. "You...need...me...to...send...out...the...s-h-e-r-i-f-f?"

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  9. I think before we can have an actual workable "Day of Peace" we should institute "Rocket Launcher Week" so everybody can get their aggressions out first.

    I've been preaching "Don't Be An Idiot" for years, then I realized if that insanity caught on, it would put me out of a job and deprive me of endless hours of entertainment. It would be fiscally irresponsible for me to espouse this. I'm sorry. I just can't do it.

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  10. I have no patience for people who do not take the time to think before they do things. People who throw fits about a store being out of something, people who yell at you for being put on hold, people who just don't care what protocol is, they want it right then, right now, their way. I hate those people. And I'm pretty sure that those kinds of people do not understand that they are being idiots, so a "don't be an idiot day" would be wasted on them.

    I like the hopeful side of it, though. So you should go around promoting what day you want to be "don't be an idiot Day" and I promise I will participate and try not to do anything stupid.

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  11. @Rev: Rocket Launcher Week sounds awesome.

    @Chanel: Right. There's one level where people make a mistake and think your store sells CDs...an understandable mistake. Then there's another level where people make a mistake and think your store sells CD, and then start yelling at you because you don't. Those people are the ones who are beyond saving.

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  12. DaRev has a point. If people didn't act like morons, then guards, sherriffs and other law types would be in the unemployment lines. I can just imagine the douce expressions on all their faces.

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  13. I experience shopping cart rage at Walmart. Evidently everyone needs to be where I am looking at something. Sometimes I am the one standing and waiting for those who have to compare every can of soup.

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  14. "Shopping cart rage" Less deadly, but just as frustrating.

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