Life is Good (I Guess)

Well, I was stumped trying to think of a good post to end the year with, and then Donna over at Refusing to Age Gracefully passed along this Life is Good Award:

What sort of unholiness has she signed me up for? Well, I guess I'm now under a contractual obligation under threat of death and dismemberment to:

1. First thank, and link back to the person who gave you the award.  (I'm sure my undying gratitude comes through clearly in the above sentiments.)

2. Answer the 10 survey questions.

3. Pass the award on to other bloggers that you hope to alienate.

4. Contact the bloggers you have chosen and tell them they're dying, and then say, "Just kidding...how do feel about answering questions?"

So, on to the questions:

1.  If you blog anonymously, are you happy doing this?  If you aren't anonymous, do you wish you started out anonymously, so that you could be anonymous now?

I actually do write another blog anonymously, it's called "How I'm Going to Kill My Neighbor in His Sleep."  It's details my plan to jimmy open the lock, creep quietly up the...oh, whoops!  Damn survey!  I hope my neighbor isn't reading this.

2. Describe an Incident that Shows Your Stubborn Side.

No.

3. What do you see when you really look at yourself in the mirror?

I see a parallel universe that's exactly like ours but everything's backwards.  There's this bald guy that lives there and he keeps staring at me every time I'm in the bathroom.  What a creep.  

4. What's your favorite summer cold drink?

I like to relax on the deck of my million dollar yacht with an ice cold margarita while my three diamond studded flying ponies put on a live theater production of Forest Gump in the sky above me.   

5. When you take time for yourself, what do you do?

Oh, I just buy duct tape and rope and write on my anonymous blog.  You know, the usual stuff.

6. Is there something you still want to accomplish in Life?

I'd like to beat the Guinness Book's record for the largest beard of bees.

 

7. When you attended school were you the class clown, the class overachiever, the shy person, or always ditching?

I remember this one time we put Drano in the teacher's coffee.  Oh, we laughed and laughed.  His wife was a little upset at the funeral, but I'm sure she sees the humor in it now.  Those were good times.

8. If you close your eyes and visualize a poignant moment in your life, what do you see?

The only thing I ever see when I close my eyes is a clown cutting off the tip of his tongue with a razor blade while tiny demons dance around him laughing in the flames.  The only way I can find peace is to kill again.  I wonder if my neighbor's home yet.

9. Is it easy for you to share your true self in your blog, or are you more comfortable writing about other people and events?

I'm bearing my soul here.  What do you want from me, survey?  I give and I give, and it's never good enough for you!  I hate you, survey!  You've ruined my life!

10. If you had a choice to sit down and read a book or talk on the phone, which would you do and why?

You know, it's funny you should ask.  I used to face this very choice every day, and it always left me paralyzed with indecision.  Then I heard about 1-800-Mmm-Book.  You call them up, and they read a book to you over the phone.  They've got Wuthering Heights, David Copperfield, all of the classics.  They're all read by this lady with a really breathy voice.  $9.99 a minute. 

So, there you go.  I should mention that I have a medical condition that renders me incapable of answering survey questions seriously.

I would like to pass this award on to:

I guess I'd like to inflict this on Scott @ Atypical Read.  Don't make me come looking for you.

Anyway, Happy New Year everybody.

See you on the other side.