A recent check of my stats for this blog shows that I've gone well over four thousand pageviews for this month, and I'm well on my way to topping five thousand by the end of the month, possibly even topping 30,000 total pageviews by the end of the year. This has easily been the most successful month so far here at nuclearheadache...at least traffic-wise. Unfortunately, I find this achievement to be somewhat hollow, and I don't get much satisfaction or sense of accomplishment out of it. It seems that I owe all the credit to that Stretch Armstrong of child abductors known to his friends and family as...The Slender Man.
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| Pictured: NOT Slender Man. |
Yes, there appears to be quite a Slender Man following out there, a thriving sub-culture much larger than I would have ever guessed. They want to know his hopes, his dreams, his passions, his obsessions. They want to know where he buys his suits and how he knots his ties. Some are looking for pictures of "real Slender Man sightings", while the more skeptical are looking for reassuring confirmation of a "Slender Man hoax." And apparently this ravenous wave of curiosity is washing up on my nuclear doorstep. In a little over a month since it was posted "Ballad of a Slender Man" is far and away the most searched and viewed post on this site.....Or at least the pictures are.
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| That isn't him either. |
So let me set the record straight here, folks. This is not a special Slender Man blog, providing one stop shopping for all your Slender Man needs. I'm afraid I don't have exclusive, never before seen, video footage of Slender Man. In fact, I have the same incredibly realistic photos of Slender Man that everyone else has. I do not, NOT, possess the secret, shocking, truth behind the Slender Man legend. I'm not giving away free Slender Man pizza coupons, or offering amazing bargains on Slender Man ink cartridges or pre-paid Slender Man cell phones...just in case anyone was wondering. And...I can't be adamant enough about this...I most certainly do not provide Japanese, crossover, Slender Man, tentacle, fan-fic, anime, fetish porn. Nope.
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| Ehhh...Close Enough. |
There. That should clear things up ;D
What's a Slenderman?
ReplyDeleteWhoops. I forgot to link back to the post in question.
ReplyDeleteThere, fixed it.
Okay, so a Slender Man is a...ummm...well, he's....uhhh...
Just follow this link, I guess.
I’ve been losing weight lately.
ReplyDeleteI see...Never heard of the hoax before so I'll go check it out.
ReplyDelete@Vincent: Now that you say that, it strikes me that "Slender Man" does sound like some kind of crappy exercise or diet device that they sell on late night TV. I imagine an ordinary household blender, but they demonstrate it only making juice drinks and health shakes, thereby marketing it as a "special heath drink" blender.
ReplyDelete@Cyber: That's what everybody keeps telling me, but somebody out there is awfully interested in it, considering all the search hits that post gets...hence this post.
Is there a word for people who troll for Google hits for Japanese crossover anime porn and Michael "Child Abductor" Jackson? There should be.
ReplyDeleteI think you're on to me here, Doug.
ReplyDeleteMy post that discussed Banksy and used a popular photo "borrowed" from his website used to get a huge amount of traffic on my site until I took down the picture. I don't like how Blogger calculates those stats.
ReplyDeleteBut maybe it's really just about the internet conspiracy trolls. The identity of Banksy IS a closely guarded secret. Maybe he's the slender man? Think about it.
It really baffles me how the traffic flow works...
ReplyDeleteMy most popular post nearly doubles over all of the others...and it's entitled "A few things..." and I talk about random things in my life...
Where is the logic?
You know what's really crazy? I didn't put that link on "ink cartridges." WTF is that all about? I just noticed that. Pisses me off.
ReplyDelete(Tomorrow I'm gonna have to find out who Banksy is.)
@Doug maybe you should watch that Michael Jackson episode of South Park.
ReplyDelete@Bryan Maybe the"person" interested in the slenderman posts is it himself dum dum dum!!!
Hey, maybe if I write some Slenderman poetry, I can increase my stats! I'll label it "slenderman, yaoi, fanfic" and they'll really go thru the roof!
ReplyDelete@Cyber: Now there's links showing up in the comments! What beast have I unleashed here? Is anyone else seeing that?
ReplyDelete@Mouse: Include an image or two and I'd say you were good to go.
Hmmm...tried a different browser and now the links are gone. Strange.
ReplyDeleteAt any rate, Cyber, Slender Man is welcome here any time. Maybe I can get a ONCE IN A LIFETIME INTERVIEW WITH SLENDER MAN...okay, I'll stop that now.
I think you have some kind of malware on your browser. The same thing happened to one of my work computers where random links started showing up, and they all led to less than reputable sites.
ReplyDeleteI like Lolamouse's idea. I thought about writing a post a jumping on the Slenderman bandwagon, but I am still upset I lost the "Somnus Diem" battle. I think I lost because since I waited so long to do it your post was already entrenched in Google's engines, and everytime I mentioned the phrase I linked back to you. That'll teach me to fight fair.
@cyber-steel: Of course I watched that episode. South Park is how I stay up-to-date with current events :)
Dang. I was really hoping for a t-shirt. And maybe a shameless ploy for more readers. (grin)
ReplyDelete@Doug: You may be right. I have this stupid "Drop Down Deals" thing that pops up everywhere.
ReplyDeleteAs for a competition, I should tell that I checked yesterday and I've got the top two Google results for "never before seen video footage of Slender Man" But, and don't say I didn't warn you, do not NOT check out the image results for that search with the safe search off. Google went in a whole different direction with that.
@Rev: Well, I hope you were half satisfied.