Welcome to Earth....Why Are You Here?

Many of the people who have speculated about the existence of extraterrestrials have always just assumed that if there were aliens, they would just naturally be visiting Earth.  The hubris and the subjective sense of self-importance behind this assumption is incredible.  It doesn't even seem to occur to these people that the question of whether there's sentient life somewhere out there in the galaxy and the question of whether that life has visited Earth are two separate matters entirely.  They treat them as if they're one in the same; if there are aliens, they must have visited Earth.  Really!?  How could we be sure they even know we exist?  Why would they even come here in the first place?  If there's life out there on at least one other planet, then you almost have to figure that there's life out there on millions more besides that one.  So out of all those millions, why would they pick Earth? 

"Uh, we were just in the neighborhood, and we figured we stop by for a visit."

Of course, as human beings, we think we're pretty special.  We occupy a central place in our view of the universe, and understandably we have a hard time stepping outside that view.  But if the matter is to be given any serious consideration, then that's what we have to do.  We have to look at it from the aliens point of view.  To them Earth is just another planet out of millions with life on it.  They would have to have a reason to cross the vast expanse of space to come here.  They would have to have an objective reason to think we're special.  I think the people involved in genuine extraterrestrial research projects like S.E.T.I. understand this.  I'm speaking more, of course, of some of the stranger conspiracy theorists out there as well as people in general that you find yourself having these kind of weird conversations with. 

"Ah Earthlings!  We've heard so much about you from the Klagnars.  You walk upright and eat with utensils?  Fascinating!"

I got into a conversation like this with a friend of mine once.  When I pointed that they would need a reason to bother coming here, he speculated that maybe they were interested in our researches in atomic energy and our creation of nuclear weapons.  At first this idea seemed to fit.  The whole "Roswell" siting seemed to coincide perfectly in time and place with the bomb testing at Los Alamos just a few years earlier.  However, in the end, I think the whole thing kind of falls apart.  It seems to me that nuclear technology would be an inevitable step on the road to developing the means of intergalactic travel.  You can't break the light barrier and miss fission entirely.  On the other hand, maybe they already know all about nuclear weapons, and they know how dangerous they are, and they're here to make sure we're not a threat or we don't annihilate ourselves.  Again, I seriously doubt this.  As awesomely powerful as our weapons seem, they're like firecrackers on a galactic scale.  As far as them being concerned with our safety...a nice idea, but I'm sure the universe is far too big a place and much too populated for these aliens to concern themselves over the beings of a tiny blue planet destroying themselves.

"You split the atom!?  Wow!!  Our ships are powered with noodle technology."

So am I making a definitive statement that the aliens have not been here?  Of course not.  Who knows?  Who even knows if there are any aliens out there?  I'm just saying that they wouldn't come here without a reason.  We've outgrown the literal notion that the universe revolves around us, but we still sometimes fall back into that frame of mind.  Maybe in all the universe we're the only other planet that the aliens have found with life on it.  Maybe it's just the two of us.  Unlikely.  Maybe they just planted life here, like some cosmic zoo, and they stop by to watch us swing on the rope and throw feces at each other.  Uhhhh.  Maybe they got lost and decided to stop and ask for directions.  Maybe we're like the hillbilly gas station of the galaxy.  Yeah, that sounds about right.