Showing posts with label writing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label writing. Show all posts

Saturday, December 31, 2011

State of the Blog 2011

First of all, Happy New Year from everyone here at the nuclearheadache staff.  Of course, that staff is mostly just me.  So, I guess that means Happy New Year from me.

There are some benefits to running a one man operation.  I can make my own hours, set my own terms, and come and go as I please.  So, I suppose this is as good a time as any to announce that it's time for another break here.  I'm not sure how long.  It could be a month, or maybe more.  At the very least, I'll probably start posting on the Night Owl blog in the early spring.  The change in the weather always seems to put me in a sentimental mood.

In the meantime, I'm trying to work on some ideas for a Kindle series, something fictional, something serialized.  I'm open to suggestions.  Also, I'm sure I'll be kicking some nonsense up onto the FARNC from time to time.  And although I've neglected my Encyclopedia of Sheep for the past few months, I always hope to have some dreams to report over there.

So you won't be rid of me completely.  I'll still be around, reading everybody's blogs.  I just need to kick back for a while, go into a low power mode, amass my ideas and get my ducks in row.  Maybe I'll work on my metaphors a little.  I'd be a little more specific about time tables and such, but that's the point, I need to be a little unspecific for a while.  I need to relax.  Anyway, rest assured, one way or the other, in one capacity or another, I'll keep blogging and writing.  I can promise you that.

And finally, this blog topped 30,000 pageviews this morning!  Thank you slender man, wherever you are!   

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Qwerty

My interest in writing really began with an interest in the typewriter.  My mother is an expert typist (I think she can do about eighty words a minute), and there was always a typewriter in our house.  There were a few college students who would drop by now and then offering a little money to have their papers typed up, and for the next few days it would be "tick tick tick" all through the house, along with that hum and even that smell that the typewriter had.  The rest of the time the typewriter sat in its case on a high shelf in the closet.  It wasn’t long before my curiosity made me climb a chair and drag it down to see what I could do with it.
   
I love the look of a nice, cleanly typed page; so I began to write out of necessity.  If I were to fill pages of my own with nicely typed paragraphs, then I would have to find something to say.  It was a simple motivation really, and its still basically the same one that drives me today, even right now as write this.  Maybe it’s not profound.  Maybe it’s a little strange; although I guarantee that I’m not the first writer who’s felt this way.  All artists, on some basic level, must be drawn to their field just from a simple love for the medium.  The painter is seduced by the canvas; the piano-player is seduced by the piano; I was seduced by a typewriter.  It’s as simple as that.  When I hear how writers like John Steinbeck wrote with a pencil, or when I read classics like Dickens or Tolstoy and think about how they scribbled everything with a quill in elaborate cursive, it's just not the same  When I open a book, I like to think of the writer punching out the text on their typewriter.  The typewritten word carries a certain weight with me; it has a certain beauty that the hand written word doesn’t.  My rough drafts aren’t usually even in pencil.  I head straight for the keyboard.
   
Unlike my mother I have never developed into an expert typist.  (But then my mother has never developed into a writer either.)  I took a typing class in my junior year of high school, learning the hand positions and the keyboard layout and all that.  But I never really caught on.  It was easier to just keep hunting and pecking.  For one thing I make less mistakes that way.  In the typing class it always seemed like my hands were in the way of the keys.  In a way I have all the keys memorized, but it’s a memory that resides solely in my fingers.  If I had to sit down and list the letters in order as they appear on the keyboard I’d be lost, but when I’m pecking along my finger always seems to automatically find the right key.  I can type up to thirty or forty words a minute with my inefficient methods.  Considering that I write my first draft at the keyboard and that I’m just making the words up as I go along, that’s really as fast as I need to go.  My brain can’t come up with the words any faster than that.  I have to pause every few sentences just to think anyway.  What good would eighty or ninety words a minute do me?
    
Of course, I use a word processing program now.  Although I realize that it’s easier to use and has all kinds of advantages over the typewriter, I still can’t quite bring myself to accept it as a substitute.  I’m not one of these conservative types suspicious of new technologies (At least I try not to be), but I can’t help feeling that the typewriter has a certain charm to it that a word processor can’t replace.  I don’t even like that name “word processor”.  It doesn’t make any sense.  It sounds like a machine designed to grind the English language into a revolting grey paste.  I guess I just don’t understand where processing is involved.  On the other hand, the typewriter has a name perfectly suited to it, in both meaning and effect. 
   
To me the typewriter is a relic from a time when machines weren’t made by other machines but by people and with a certain craftsmanship.  Look at old sewing machines and automobiles.  They look as though they’ve been formed by human hands with all their curves and contours molded with a perfect instinct.  They look sturdy and solid.  Their artistry was built into their very foundations.  The people who made these things, they hardly gave it a thought.  They had something they had never lost, and so had never noticed.  They set out to make good machines, not good looking machines, and that was precisely why they looked good.  They hit the ball without even trying.  They just happened to be swinging in that direction.  Today people try desperately to give things an attractive design and the result is just a bunch of cheap plastic junk, aerodynamic stereos that sit on your living room shelf cutting down wind resistance, and kitchen utensils that look like children’s toys.
   
As much of a pain as it is to set your tabs and your margins, roll in your paper, change your ink ribbon, white-out your mistakes, make sure you don’t type all the way off the bottom of the page, check your own spelling, run out of ink in the middle of typing something, and finish a whole page just to read back over it and see one teeny tiny mistake and realize that now you’re going to have to type the whole damn thing over again, I’d go back to the typewriter in a minute.  Or...maybe not.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

This is a Dictionary; Don't Make Me Smack You with It.

A few years ago a couple of co-workers of mine got into a conversation about gun control one night.  One of them went off on the typical conservative rant on the subject, and I pretty much kept quiet and stayed out of it.  It's not that I have particularly strong opinions about gun control.  Sometimes it's the thought process, or lack of it, that went into the formation of a person's opinions that's more of a problem than the actual opinion itself.  It's like having a guy tell you that they shouldn't have trials for rapists; they should just execute them on the spot.  It's not that you're pro-rape.  You just know that you'd be wasting your breath arguing the merits of due process with a person like that.

There's a 30 day waiting period, Comrade.
So anyway, at one point, as this guy was ranting along at a nice pace, he mentioned something about gun control being "communist."  He kept hammering away at this point.  After he had dropped the word for the fourth or fifth time, I couldn't restrain myself any longer from throwing my two cents in.  "Communism is an economic system", I told him, "It really has nothing to do with gun control at all.  You're thinking of 'totalitarianism'.  People usually confuse the two terms, because communism in practice tends to lead to totalitarianism, but it's not the same thing.  Communism is just the equal redistribution of wealth.  That's it."  Naturally these guys looked at me like I had just landed here from another planet, and eventually the whole thing somehow led to me having to have this stupid conversation with someone yet again.  I probably should have just kept my mouth shut. 

But as a writer, I get very annoyed when people abuse the language and carelessly throw words around without knowing what they mean.  It seems like it happens the most with derogatory terms, or at least terms with derogatory overtones.  It's the overtones that people really enjoy.  They just love how insulting a word sounds, and they're not going to let a little thing like meaning slow them down when they're really on a roll.  Some people even have their favorite term of reproach that they use to pass judgment on nearly everything.  My mother is a very religious person and she throws around the term "humanistic" as though she were being paid for every use.  The pastor at the church we went to when I was kid gave a sermon on Humanism once, and she's been entralled with the term ever since.  Any type of idea, theory, or practice of any kind that leaves God out of the equation is denounced as "humanistic" in her book.  The IRS is probably humanistic for not praying before they send out our 1099 forms.

 The internet is a fertile breeding ground for misused words.  "Irony" alone has a long and confused history.  At first it was used indiscriminately to describe any coincidence, cleverness, or circumlocution.  Any chain of events that fell together in a neat way was applauded for being "ironic."  This vast electronic market of words was flooded with the term.  But then the backlash set in.  These days it's the in thing to instantly attack anyone who uses the word.  Whisper the word "irony" in even the most obscure corner of the web and someone will immediately pop up and dismiss you as idiot.  Ironically, there seems to be no acceptable definition of the word that anyone can agree on.  To be fair, irony is a somewhat elusive concept and I've yet to find a dictionary that really does the word justice.  I've always thought of it as a twisted connection between cause and effect, but I'm not sure that really covers it either.

The internet even struggles with its own special terminology.  There are not enough bridges in all of the kingdom to provide shelter for everyone that gets labeled as a "troll" on a message board.  The word was useful enough to begin with, and it designated a certain specific phenomenon.  It's a person who deliberately irritates and mocks people on a forum, solely for the sake of getting a reaction.  There's no real sincerity behind anything they say.  They just want to piss people off.  Period.  That's a troll, plain and simple; nothing more, nothing less.  Yet, people call anyone they don't like or anyone who irritates them a "troll", and the word has become completely devalued as a result.  It's like "Epic Fail"; it's become a cheap insult, ready at hand, and easy to use....and virtually meaningless at this point. Someone gets mad, and the "T-word" starts flying.  Yeah!  That'll show 'em! 

I try my best to be conscientious with the words I use.  I confess that I also have a special affection for certain words; I just like the way they sound.  But I try to make sure I know what the word actually means before I use it, especially if I'm preserving my own words in writing.  There are times in the course of working on post like this that I'll have a word that I'm planning to use, and I'll be pretty sure I know what it means or I'll kind of have a vague idea.  In those cases I'll always look it up.  In fact, I've done it three times during the writing of this post, and no, I'm not telling you which words.  Some things are best kept a trade secret.  Anyhow, I have to say, I have an almost perfect track record.  The word nearly always means just what I thought it meant.  But it's always better to double check and be sure.  I'd hate to get caught with my pants down and end up looking like an idiot because I confused the difference between "affect" and "effect".  Which brings me to another story:

About nine years ago I was working as night security guard at a salt mine.  It was just a few months after the Sept. 11th attack.  One night, just around shift change, a semi truck pulled into the lot.  There were two Arab men in the truck, and they got out to ask me for directions to a nearby town.  As we stood there and I gave the men directions, the 2nd shift miners were leaving and they all stared as they passed us in the parking-lot.  Tension was running high then, of course.  A few hours later I got a call from one of the miners, and he starting going into this whole thing about how he had noticed that the semi's trailer wasn't properly sealed.   "I don't mean to sound like a pedophile.", he told me.  Well, the thought hadn't really crossed my mind until then.  I didn't have the heart to explain his mistake to him.  I can only hope that he doesn't find himself feeling paranoid around the wrong people.

Anyway, so I do my homework.  Big deal.  Still, I feel like I owe it to myself and to anyone else who has the misfortune to be listening to me, to try to know what I'm talking about if I'm going to bother opening my mouth.  At the very least, I can get the words right.  If I started tossing around any multi-syllabic gems that I've picked up in my travels with reckless abandon, then I'd risk the possibility of exposing myself as a fool and coming off looking pretentious.  And don't even get me started on that word.               
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